Large crowds and people have never been my thing, something about them makes me anxious and uncomfortable. So go figure my four day weekend ended started with two days of parties for a birthday of someone I thought I cared about. Its weird when you start seeing more sides of someone you thought you knew. The basics were there, the kindness, the insecurity, but add alcohol to that and it turns into the Hunger Games of sarcastic remarks and the asshole (sorry for my language) comments about any little personal detail about everyone else’s life. It’s something ive grown to hate about this certain person but I let it slide due to the family ties. But nothing lasts forever, and this is the story of how I walked out of my “best friends” birthday, and the day I told him I was done.
Friday night was like any other night with the group, we headed off to the bar at my work for birthday drinks. Luckily for me I sat at the end of the bar where the socializing was at minimal. Very few words were actually spoken to the birthday boy himself due to the drunken trash talk none of us were in the mood for. More so, me. As a victim of the usual trash talk I figured tonight would be the night I’d let it slide, seeing how it was a “special occasion” (although how the day was spent is no different than how they spend any other day). Once it hit midnight the heat was on. After the bar we headed back to my place for some more drinks and some card games. The trash talking started in the car though. After ditching his girlfriend to be able to smoke (shes not a fan and has been trying to help him quit but he wont do it) I decided to ride back with her, After a short amount of time of him thinking about it he finally agreed (overly jealous) after letting me know that he doesn’t have to worry about me making a move due to my sexuality, something that has never had any part of decisions I make. This was strike one for me, but of course I let it slide and the rest of the night proceeded with more remarks that everyone overlooked. After awhile everyone went to bed and I went back to Until Dawn before I fell asleep.
Day two was the last day for me.
It was the big night everyone was anticipating, and I for some reason was looking forward to. The usual group was there, my brothers and the friends gf, along with a group of people I didn’t really know or seem to care for. Luckily there was one I didn’t expect to be there and spent most of the time drinking with her. When I saw my friend I made sure to put enough distance between us knowing that he was already on drink number four after shot number three just to avoid the nightly trashing. Unfortunately, I lost Jane and spent a good amount of time looking for her until word came she was sitting on the bathroom. When I got to her we sat on the floor, neither one of us talking for a few moments before she finally spoke.
“I want to go home,” she said resting her head against the wall. I nodded in agreement, realizing what a mistake ive gotten into by coming to something I felt uneasy and unwelcome at. I tried telling myself otherwise but the memory of me sitting on the deck and playing on my phone came to mind and laughed when I remembered I was sitting in the bathroom feeling more comfortable than I ever been that night. After convincing Jane not to drive home or ask anyone here for a ride due to how much more drunk they were, we both agreed that sleeping it off might be best. I went downstairs to grab a cup of water when the remarks hit me instantly.
“Why are you wasting your time on her? She always gets like this and she needs to learn to stop.” The comment came from my “friend”.
“So? Its a party, she drank, I drank, we all drank, the only difference is that not all of us are self centered.” I answered back while filling the cup.
“You know you wont get any, right?” He said with that annoying tone in his voice.
“Sex was never a goal with me. Just taking care of my friend seeing how no one else will.” The cup was full and I tuned back to the stairs.
“Well that’s only due to your obsessive need to please everyone. Just accept the fact not everyone will.” I stopped at the bottom step and looked back, noticing how my brother began making his way over.
“That sounds more like a lesson for yourself than me, I don’t care if your friends give two shits about me, she needs help and im gonna help.” I made my way back to Jane before realizing she fell asleep already. I put the cup on the table and sighed before finally heading back downstairs for more torment. And of course, right when I rounded the corner the peanut gallery was there. And I wasn’t in the mood. After a comment about being a babysitter and making sure “the light weight” was well handled I found myself in a fit of rage. I didn’t want to be there, I had no reason to be there, but I sat and took a few more remarks before I finally stepped up. I wasn’t in the mood for this anymore, I wasn’t in the mood for someone to tell me how much people hated me there or how much people hated me in general. After calling him a ‘drunken alcoholic asshole’ I made my way out the front door and into a neighborhood I didn’t know. So I did the one thing I knew how to do, lost myself to the dark silence until my brother called and said we were leaving. I followed the way I came just in time to hear someone finally stand up for me.
“The reason why we’re leaving is because we cant stand you when you drink because you’re a fucking asshole.” And from the opposite side of the street I could see my friends face shift into a mix of emotions while a smile crossed mine. My brother (who was my DD) motioned for me to get into the car and we never looked back.
We didn’t know why we expected differently, but we both felt foolish for thinking things would be different. That’s what I told myself too before going to bed. Maybe I’d wake up with a huge apology text or a call or something, but all day there was silence. That’s when I decided something, I couldn’t let someone that toxic be part of or take over my life. I decided how much better off id be without him, and I had let him know.
-B.A.M
-Stryker
truestorybrobam 